I was speaking with a good friend of mine today. She was a successful partner in a successful law firm and just retired (at the old age of 44)!
She was bemoaning the things she REALLY wants to do in life. Things she has always imagined.
She wants to walk into a prestigious nonprofit – dressed to the nines – and offer them her service – if even to only bring coffee to the people who run the show. She feels dorky doing it.
She wants to call her childhood friend who is now pursuing HIS (and her) LIFETIME PASSION for acting and musicals. She feels dorky doing it.
Even though she “knows” that if she doesn’t approach these people the answer is as “NO” now as if it would be if they told her “NO”. She still doesn’t want to put herself at that risk.
It made me wonder. This is a person who has been a HIGHLY PAID professional, a leader in her community, a bad-ass-mamba-jamba. Yet, she is AFRAID to pursue her passion.
Where are we looking for permission to pursue our passion? Do we feel better about holding our passion as a possibilty than finding out that we can’t have it? Possibly so. Maybe the “wondering” feels better than the “no” that we fear we would find.
So, here we are, my lovelies. Passionate beings who want to pursue our passions (and feel the hole inside that we are not), but happier to have it as a “possibility” than a clear “no”.
I GET IT!
Tonight, I BEG OF YOU, to think of ONE THING you could do to pursue your passion. Get ahold of someone who will hold you to account. Let THEM give you permission to pursue your passion.
Then, GO FOR IT!
You probably won’t. We seem DESIGNED to hold back, but maybe, just maybe ONE OF YOU WILL.
Tell me your story. Tell me the passion you are resisting. Let ME be your accountability partner. I mean it. YOU have access to The Irreverent Sales Girl and I will work with you to give yourself permission, BUT, I will also ask you to help me get the same permission I seek.
Announcing the VaVaVaVoom Selling Fearlessly Book Release Interview
I am excited to announce a special 45-minute telephone event that will ENTERTAIN you on November 8th (and give you some great sales tips, too).
Ever wanted to know how to walk into a COMPLETELY COLD sales call and “BE” the equal to your prospect, GUIDE the conversation, while you CONTROL the environment? (And, get the close the first time?)
ME TOO! That is exactly what we are talking about!
On November 8th at 10 am Pacific/1 pm Eastern, join me for the VaVaVaVoom (Voyeuristic, Vicarious, Virtual) Selling Fearlessly Book Release Interview with the renowned Robert Terson!
You WILL walk away with stuff no one else is ever likely to tell you (‘cuz, frankly, they don’t know).
The great part is, that it’s MOSTLY free. We are offering admission if you’re willing to Pay With A Tweet or simply Opt-In to Irreverent Sales Girl’s email list (don’t worry — I have a strict “I Hate Spam” policy). There will be a surprise give-away at the end to a lucky caller, too!
We’re having a ton of fun putting this event together, and we hope you’ll join us.
Let’s ROCK THIS THING. And don’t keep it to yourself. If you think YOU ARE going to love it, think of a someone else who will, too, and send them along to sign up. (We’re not selling ONE SINGLE THING – just putting together loads of value for you and your career).
In college, my girlfriends and I loved the mantra…If you marry for money, you earn every penny!
Same goes for selling something you do not believe in…just to earn a check.
Do you KNOW you are doing the best for your clients? Can you speak passionately about your products and services and be the poster child for your wares?
Alright, I admit it … I have become a bit of an Erika Napoletano stalker of late. (www.redheadwriting.com)
There’s a good reason!
A break in the storm
And, no, I am not talking about Sandy here – although I am sending all my love for you who are dealing with her tonight.
I am talking about the Business storm. You may be familiar with it.
My entire life (since age 12), I have been hoping and studying and praying that one day…please, God…one day I would be a GREAT business person.
I ran an (unsuccessful) lemonade stand, have attended undergrad and graduate B-school. I have co-owned and sold a business. I have failed at starting a couple of businesses. I have been a top salesperson.
Still, the BRASS RING seemed so far away.
Business seemed like a minefield to me. One where you PROTECT your butt against people who will steal your idea. One where MOST BUSINESSES FAIL in the first three years. One where you had just better get used to the idea that it is a DOG-EAT-DOG world out there.
Erika was my break in the storm.
From zero to FUCK YEAH
Now, all of you know that I refrain from swearing whenever possible. Yet, you can hardly get to know and love Erika unless you understand this very raw premise.
Erika Napoletano is ONLY about getting your business and your life from zero to FUCK YEAH. And she means it. She does the work to filter out all of the stuff that will distract you from your goals. She serves as a MIGHTY resource. AND she backs it up by being on your side!
Someone who knows NOTHING about me wants me to win? Will teach me to be vulnerable? Will take time to understand my pain and EXALT in my successes? IS there such a thing in business?
Well, yes, THERE IS. And she is no small potatoes. She is a celebrated columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine. She is a sought-after consultant for tech firms. She is an author of a real live book. (The Power of UN-Popular) And….wait for it…
She is a Tedx Talker
I can prove it:
Now for the game
Erika is being LOVED UP for this Tedx Talk. She should be. It is amazing.
It is all about the Power of Being UnPopular (did you ever want to be one of the popular crowd? did you ever imagine there would be an advantage to being UN-popular? you will love this).
OK, my lovelies. If you have been following me for over one MINUTE, you KNOW that I am about YOU winning. That is why I post every single work day. For your success.
Now, I am asking YOU to help ME make someone ELSE successful. Let us show that The Irreverent Sales Girls (and guys who love The Irreverent Sales Girls) can make a BIG FAT SPLASH in the world.
Why I’m Showing This to You
When you find something that moves you, sharing it is key. So today, I’m sharing this with you in the hopes that it might move you, too.
If you like Erika’s talk, LIKE it on YouTube.
If it moved you, TELL HER in a comment on YouTube (she’s responding to everyone who leaves a comment — and there are over 100 so far!).
If you love the message, SHARE IT. On Facebook, via email, tie it to the leg of a carrier pigeon — whatever moves you.
The upside to all of this is that, on occasion, sometimes TED (the mothership) features TEDx talks (talks from smaller, independent events) on their main site. It’s kind of like winning a TED-flavored Oscar. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could be a part of letting TED know that we think Erika’s talk is an idea worth spreading? And if you’re not familiar with TED, that’s exactly what it is: Ideas Worth Spreading. People from all over the world give talks that are 18 minutes or less on ideas that move them, and in turn, TED.com moves people across the world by sharing, or as TED says, spreading them.
The Irreverent Sales Girl does not win a car if you do this!
The real power of what we are doing here is the power to CONNECT each other with amazing resources and opportunities.
Your “watch” and “like” and “comment” is something YOU can do for someone who is AMAZING and playing life BOLD.
I get nothing from it. YOU get my true and raw thanks.
I invite you to meet someone exceptional
You will laugh, you will be moved, and you will remember something stirring deep inside of you that is ready to be GREATER THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED.
Please watch the video, like it (if you do), and send a comment. Let’s get Erika to Ted.com!
Now, what can I do for YOU?
Post a comment about what you think of this game, and tell me something I can do for you.
One of the most amazing women on the planet today allowed ME to be a guest blogger on her site. Erika Napoletano is REDHEAD WRITING. She is a columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine, she is a Tedx Talker. She is, in short, the real deal.
AND, she is SO human.
I am humbled by her interest in the message of Bringing a Dash of Dignity to the Art of Sellling. So, today I share the Guest Blog that she allowed me to contribute.
As you might remember, I have been attending a GREAT BIG industry conference this week.
The other night, at a reception, I approached one of my favorite clients. I had my trusty sales assistant at my wing.
We were greeted warmly, by Client…who happened to be speaking with Prospect. Client introduced us to Propspect who perfunctorily shook our hands and then turned her back on us and started a new conversation with Client.
I stood next to Client (where I had been before). My wing assistant was a little crowded out by Prospect, and listened politely for a couple of minutes. When it was clear that Prospect was going to keep speaking with Client and ignoring us (I have never met this woman before), I touched Client’s arm and said “I’m going to grab a bite to eat, we’ll catch up later.” Client was gracious and Prospect at least had the decency to look a little embarrassed.
No, I’m not actually going to wait here to engage you in a conversation you do not want to have.
Throughout the conference
From time to time, we would see Prospect (there were a thousand people here, so it wasn’t often) and she always looked just downright snippy.
It’s not about you
About the third time we ran into Prospect with nary a glimpse of recognition, my trusty assistant leaned in and said. “You know. About 99% of the time that someone is nasty to you, it has nothing to do with you, but more about what’s going on with them.”
Left with compassion
When she said this, I immediately had compassion. I’m a pretty happy person and I love meeting new people. I thought, “Hmmmmm….Happy people tend to be really interested in other people. People who make a big fat difference in life seem to truly enjoy engaging.
And then I realized. She might just not be a very happy camper. And I left it alone.
Don’t let the nasties get you down
As I sit in my hotel room, preparing for the last leg of my conference, surrounded by the 20 serious connections I intended to make (and corresponding Thank You notes) and the dozen other REALLY inspiring people I got to know this week, I am reminded to focus on the great stuff I accomplished and let nasty Prospect deal with her own stuff. Which may be pretty serious stuff.
Remember when dating sites first came out? I don’t know if they still do this, but they used to promote this thing they “did”.
Finding your perfect mate…mathematically!
Here’s how it works. You enter answers to a survey. Do you smoke? What is your age? What was your GPA during college? What is your profession? Are you an outdoors person? Do you like to drink pickle juice in the middle of the night, watching TV in your swimsuit?
You know, the usual.
And then, they would run all of this data using an algorithm against all other data – and POW! Your perfect match! We did the math and here he is!
It was always a little hard for me to buy
I found myself deeply suspicious that anyone’s algorithm could take all of this “perfectly” correlated data and find me the right guy.
Unfortunately, this is how most “Sales Training” works
We are trained that if we can capture a bulk of the circumstances; the level of the decision-maker, the industry, the economy, the average length of a sales cycle, the ferocity of the competition, and the number of pixels on our marketing pieces (as a sample set) – and we can put this all into a formula and POW! – we will have the right approach to CLOSE THE DEAL!
To that I say ‘hooey’
Each sales transaction, every one, is a complex and delicate social and psychological transaction. Whether you’re selling your three-year-old on eating his peas, or selling an airplane contract to Boeing. Procurement departments are put in place to keep this complexity out – but that just adds one more element to the mix.
How to use sales training
Here’s what I’ve found to be VERY useful. When I hear something that makes sense, I give it a try. See if it works FOR ME. If it does, I keep it. If it doesn’t, I tweak it or toss it. I don’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out what is wrong with me that it does not work.
When I hear something that makes me sick to my stomach, I ask WHY I am being trained that way. There “might” be a good reason. If there isn’t, I scrap it!
When I have worked for a company who insists on a certain way, I found my self-expression in it – or moved on.
There is NO exact formula or mathematical algorithm to sales. It is a constant dance and an unending opportunity for refinement and education. It challenges and fascinates me. And I love it. I have found my voice in it.
I wish the same for you and am willing to help in any way I can (and willing to learn EVEN more than I now know!)
So, let’s keep this community going! It is a beautiful art we pursue!
I’ve gotten to be a bit of a pro at this (at least for myself) and would like to share my favorite tips for making the VERY most of the time and money you are spending to attend:
1) To booth or not to booth I am attending this industry-standard conference as a vendor. But, NEVER as someone with a booth. Know why? I find it’s a waste of money. If the conference will let me attend as a vendor without a booth, I DO IT! I circulate more. Meet WAY more people. And spend less money. Geez, I hope the conference organizers aren’t reading this 🙂 If I MUST have a booth to attend, I work to get myself on as many panels and invited to as many parties as possible.
2) Pre-conference Prep I email my entire list of current pipeline prospects and people I haven’t spoken to in quite some time. I ask them, are you attending the such-and-such conference? I will be there and I would LOVE to meet. This accomplishes a few things. 1 – it gives me credibility as someone who is keeping up-to-speed as a thought leader. 2 – it gives me the chance to set up appointments to meet people face-to-face, which allows for some nice efficiencies. 3 – It gives me a reason to be in touch. 4 – it allows me the opportunity to be a resource to my customers who can’t make it to the event – I touch base with them when I get back about the top 3 things I learned – or with people I’d like to connect them to.
3) Opening the conversation I used to find this to be the hardest thing to do at a conference. What do I say that won’t annoy the daylights out of someone who is there trying to get educated in their field (and avoid vendors, frankly). Now, it’s easy. I simply ask: “What do you most want to get out of this conference?” or “What is the thing you would say has been most valuable about your time here?” This opens the conversation for what THEY care about. Often, I’m able to serve as a resource with some of their key issues. SCORE! (And they’re glad to talk to me because they are talking about themselves. Critical.)
4) Don’t drink I leave the alcohol consumption to the celebration of all my new business when I get home. If I am really going to work the conference to its best advantage, I need all the stamina and sharpness I can get. I go to the parties and join in on the fun, but I keep it straight. This is my business, after all.
5) Bring LOTS of business cards, but leave the presentations at home Conference attendees do NOT want one more thing to drag home with them. I bring plenty of cards, and make sure I get theirs!
6) Carry the Thank You notes and stamps along with me Yep. The hand written Thank You note again. When I am REALLY on my game, I write the cards out before I go to bed. At least I have them on the plane with me for my ride home. I believe people are impressed that they get something personal from me right away on their return.
7) Set a goal I set a goal of how many meaningful connections I am going to make at the conference. Connections that could lead to a sale. My goal for this three day conference is 20 meaningful connections. Obviously, I will make many more connections than that, but I’m talking about the ones that will lead directly to further conversations about working together. I hold myself to my goal and I don’t quit until I’ve made it. It’s a great game!
8) Be a stalker This is only for the VERY accomplished. If I am listening to a keynote or a panelist who is a big deal at their company (my favorites are the Fortune 500 CEOs), this CAN be an ideal time to connect with them. But, I am careful. I MUST have something MEANINGFUL to say that takes about 5 seconds and addresses core issues they just mentioned. I ask them for a CONNECTION at their company, not for THEIR time. These can be magical moments.
9) Love ’em UP! When I get home, I’m quick to put a bullet-point summary of the value I got from the conference. I send this to all my peeps who I did not see at the conference. I become a thought leader and valuable resource! Then, I connect with all the *meaningful connections* to set future action. I do NOT let this wait until sometime next week. I will take off Tuesday afternoon, as a reward- as long as those communications go out ASAP!
10) Balance the drawer and then we’re out! I take care of my finances. It’s never fun, but I challenge myself to finish my expense report and turn it in within two business days. No use carrying balances for the work I have done.
Great! I’m ready to rock ‘n roll! What strategies do YOU use to make the most of your conference time? I can’t wait to hear!
One of the most amazing women on the planet today allowed ME to be a guest blogger on her site. Erika Napoletano is REDHEAD WRITING. She is a columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine, she is a Tedx Talker. She is, in short, the real deal.
